tra la la

I got a letter from a sweety, who said they thought of me when they heard this. All the woes of the world go away when a cute little anime song comes on, and this is more or less how I feel right now. I feel in love, like the world has great potential, like the things that have come before have no bearing on the things that lie ahead. I don't feel like a total weight on everything... my M.O. has been sunny side up nihilism, theres so much suffering that we're better off not existing, but we will inherently survive so lets focus on the positive, I've always been so positive because deep down I feel so negative. Now admittedly theres more fear and terror than hugs and sunshine in this world, but not really where I live as much, and even if you catch an oppressed person in the right moment they'll admit that it's not all that bad.

"You can't change anything without changing yourself" I wasn't happy with myself so I wasn't happy with anything, simple as that. The path to self improvement begins within, I feel so freaking awesome all the time. I feel hormonally balanced. Maybe it's from not seeing the same thing over and over again, maybe it's from being around positive people, maybe it's from knowing that I have my hormones set-up for the next year or so, maybe because lately is the first time I've been 100% consistent about the hormones, morning afternoon and night. I needed to break from the patterns that I fell into in my last 9+ years of working in the customer service industry, I know I can find a good job, and I'm so looking forward to learning more about video editing and seriously getting into the video field. 

I feel like I've been bitten by a radioactive Tony Robbins, I've gained the super-power to get over anything almost immediately, to not dwell on the negative and to keep moving forward. It took years to get to this point, but I wouldn't change a thing... wow, i like shuddered when I wrote that, I thought of things I have forgotten, things I would give anything to re-do... but those things happened and i'm in a good place now, so why dwell on them? Same goes for things I can't really control, like all the suffering in the world. 

I'm over it. Life is too awesome to feel sad and frustrated all the time! I'm going to post some stuff about my girly feelings and the talk with my doctor, camera stuff, adventure! More stuff soon, all is well!!!

<3