feels

Well, it's honesty time, with all my adventures and turmoil, I haven't kept completely "on" my hormones. Lets start from the beggining...

I took my first bit of estrogen on June 15th 2009. I was on 1 25mg estrogen for about 2 months, then 1 estrogen and then 1 spiro for about 6 months, then 1 and 2 for 3 months, then 2 and 2 and recently 2 estrogen and 3 spiro. Now, this is much lower than many transgirls start with, but I've played it safe due to said adventure and/or turmoil.

I still struggle with smoking cigarettes, and hormones and smoking do not mix. When I was working at a cafe/bar after pouring drinks all day I would oftentimes join ny friends for a drink or many in the evenings, and hormones and booze don't mix. Those times I chose socializing in a somewhat unhealthy manner over something that really mattered to me, my health, my hormones. I try not to regret anything in my past, but I do regret my lack of diligence, but these last few weeks have been really lovely, I'm truly realizing what I've missed.

I still lack healthcare, but I will starting the first of the year, so I can go see a bunch of good doctors and get top notch care. I'm very excited, planned parenthood was great in my time of need, but at stronger doses I'm going to have different needs. I'd like to be able to see the same doctor throughout the process, someone experienced with transpeople and overall health, I have a few in mind in the bay area, I'm so excited!

I didn't experience very many ups and downs over the last while, I've been on such a low dose that I've hardly notice them. Breasts are growing, ive felt Girly and positive, that feeling of being on the right path, my skin is softer and my body hair a little lighter, but other than that, I have pretty much the same body I did when I started. Taking a low dose has set good ground for a lovely new Riley to grow, and im making sure to put all the right things in my garden :)

Its been 2 weeks of what for me is a high dose, and those lovely feelings are returning in kind. My breasts are incredibly sensitive, I use a copy of the velveteen rabbit as a mousepad and I read the first 5 pages and started crying, i'm noticing my curves more and I'm so horny I could rape a giraffe. These are just little examples, new ones are popping up everyday :)


More stuff soon, I'm feeling good, just took my bedtime dose, putting on some MST3K and resting up for an early morning and a big day tomorrow~ seeya soon!